Cole: I'm Leaving Arsenal For Broadway

England full-back to follow chorus line dream

Broadway: Waiting

Cole: Dreaming

Henry: Showboating

The England international has dazzled Arsenal fans over the years with his dazzling footwork now plans to wow a new audience on an entirely different stage — tap dancing in the chorus line in the big musicals on Broadway.

Tappa tappa tappa

"Tap is in my blood," he told Onion Bag reporter Larry Gak. "Football's been good to me but my heart is on the stage. If Arsenal fans really loved they’d let me follow my dream and become a star."

In an exclusive for the Onion Bag he explained the recent clandestine meeting with Jose Mourinho. "Jose knows a lot of people in the industry. He could really help me get my big break."

Cole Porter

Mourinho himself was coy about the whole thing playing the incident down — "Ashley is a talented dancer — maybe one day as good as Roy Castle or Wayne Sleep. I would not dream of trying to convince a rival team's player to leave football and pursue a career in dance," he explained with a wicked glint in his eye.

Fred and Thierry

Arsene Wenger is furious with Cole. "Ashley 'as disappointed me. This tapping 'as to stop — I'm worried it will spread through ze club. Already I've seen Freddie Ljungberg and Thierry Henry recreating Fred and Ginger routines."

Broadway impresario, Hymie Liebschnitz, thinks Cole could have what it takes to go to the very top. "We know he can do it with his feet, trouble is we ain't heard him sing yet."

Officials at Arsenal anticipate that he will start singing any day now.

Sp3ktor