Proper Football - Back For One Day Only

Johnny P welcomes the return of thirties football

Pundit: Distinctly pre-War

Fothergill: Quotes of dubious origin

FA Cup: Bless

Funny old thing, Football. For instance, pre-war football. Nice to see it back in vogue with Portsmouth playing Cardiff on Saturday.

Legally obliged to smoke

Quite a thing, with one team who had last appeared at Wembley in 1927, and the other in 1939. I'm hoping we'll go the whole hog as a result, and really embrace the 1930s in particular (I'm far too young to recall the 1920s). Hats will be legally required to be worn by anyone over the age of ten, whilst everyone over the age of eight will be formally obliged to smoke.

Mean

Perhaps more controversially, football will have to mean something, particularly to the poor buggers who troop through the turnstiles every rainy Saturday, rather than being just another way of making money for 'ethically-redundant plutocrats' (Fothergill, but I reckon he nicked it). To complete our return to a 'low, dishonest decade' (Fothergill again — but I know he nicked it), all we need are some economic difficulties and a controversial war — aha!

Slavering semi-criminals

So: it was 'The Fans' Final'. Fair enough, but who the hell were all the others for? The stock exchange and the media, I suppose. Still, for once, just for once, our view of the game wasn't clouded by filthy lucre, players' personal problems or slavering semi-criminals out to make a buck from the people's game. For once, we had a proper Cup Final with proper clubs playing proper football.

The FA Cup, ladies and gentlemen. God bless it and all who sail in it.

Johnny Pundit