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Ukraine 1-0 England

The future of football is online after England's sensational 18-0 World Cup qualifying win against Ukraine last night.

It's in the game

Yes the days of tamely sitting back and watching England flounder their way through yet another interminably dull away tie are over thanks to the wonders of modern technology.

The editorial team of The Onion Bag sat down in front of the office Xbox and saw the three lions stuff a bus load of goals past the hapless Ukrainian keeper. "There are some major leaps forward in the coverage of this over traditional TV," said Onion Bag editor, Duffman. "The edit function allowing you to make all your players super good while also rendering the opposition useless is an innovation I can see many fans insist becomes available for domestic matches."

Easy money

"We're delighted with the response," said marketing guru, Ernesto Cockgroupier. "Most people managed to watch England win without even needing to put it on Easy."

Frunk Lumpard

Some fans were outraged at having to fork out to see a match they would have usually seen on subscription TV. Many chose to buy cheaper versions of the game without the official license: "Well the kit wasn't quite right and the names were spelled funny - but you could sort of see who was who," said one England fan.

There have been reports of isolated incidents of England losing - this has been blamed on girls being allowed to have a go on the controls.

Sp3ktor