The clock hits 93 minutes. We’re now into time added onto time added on. From the resulting corner, the ball falls to Lewis Dunk. The centre-half steadies himself before blasting over the bar, costing his side a share of the spoils. Boris Johnson briefly looks up from his bacchanalia and gives a weary thumbs down. Two heavies march onto the pitch and drag the defender off to be fed to the Roy Keane. On the touchline Sean Dyche wildly beats his chest. Are you not entertained?

Clearly, this particular event didn’t happen but with Project Restart now underway and the brave gladiators of the Premier League competing in their semi-virtual amphitheatre, it’s hard not to feel there’s a touch of of some pre-democracy authoritarianism about the resumption of Liverpool’s coronation. The morale of the nation must come before everything else.

Anyway, apart from ensuring children in poverty don’t get fed, taking a stand against racial injustice, and donating money for medical equipment in the fig…