Midweek TV Preview: 13 - 16 December

This week's Midweek TV Preview has been written vaguely in the style of Stuart Hall for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Monday 13 December

20:00 Manchester United v Arsenal, Premier League, Sky Sports 1 / HD1 / 3D
A veritable feast for the eyes. Two footballing gladiators enter the Colloseum: Wenger, the feisty Frenchman, a Premier League Napoleon with the scowl of a man who has known more battles than you've had hot frogs legs, and Ferguson, noble Scot, Knight of the Realm, King of the Red Devils forever walking in the shadow of Sir Matt. Pride and adulation to the victors; much licking of wounds to the losers.

Tuesday 14 December

16:00 Internacional v TP Mazembe, FIFA World Club Cup 2010 Semi-Final, ESPN / ESPN HD
Two footballing worlds collide. TP Mazembe, African champions from the steamy Congo basin, facing their South American antagonists from Porto Alegre. Only one outcome looks likely for betting man or football academic alike - a handsome victory for the boys from Brazil.

19:45 Brentford v Charlton Athletic, Johnstone's Paint Trophy Area Final, Sky Sports 1 / HD1
The Addicks cross the capital to stock up on towels, bedding and poly-cotton sheets.

19:45 Motherwell v Hearts, SPL, Sky Sports 4 / HD4
The Jam Tarts embody the very spirit of Hermes, flying with wings on their heels up the SPL table. Motherwell will surely take on the role of Paris, firing an arrow in the hope of making a large Achillean puncture.

20:00 Parma v Fiorentina, Coppa Italia Last 16, ESPN / ESPN HD
The ultimate dilemma - who to support between Parma, Mecca for cheese and ham enthusiasts the world over, and the fanciful Florence, home of piazzas and palazzi to name but two delights? A moment of contemplation over a glass or two of Pinot Grigio is required.

Wednesday 15 December

18:00 Dinamo Zagreb v PAOK Salonika, UEFA Europa League, ESPN / ESPN HD
The fight to finish second in Group D and grab an elusive tilt at further glory in the knock-out stages. Zagreb will be wary of Greek's bearing gifts, especially the type offered by PAOK who haven't scored more than one goal in any of their group games thus far.

20:05 Sevilla v Borussia Dortmund, UEFA Europa League, ESPN / ESPN HD
An unlikely mismatch, on current form at least. The Spaniards, defeated in their last five games, up against the Germans, victors in each of their last seven and needing to turn that run into eight to leapfrog Sevilla into the second qualifying spot in Group J.

20:05 Liverpool v Utrecht, UEFA Europa League, Five / Five HD
Liverpool have made safe passage from Group K; Utrecht - defeated and eliminated.

Thursday 16 December

18:00 Bayer Leverkusen v Atletico Madrid, UEFA Europa League, ITV4 / ITV4 HD
Jupp Heynckes, the man they call 'Osram' for the way his cheeks illuminate under duress, has steered his team through the choppy waters of Group B to the even choppier waters of the knock-out round. Atleti must hope Bayer are sleeping on the job in order to join them there.

18:00 Juventus v Manchester City, UEFA Europa League, ESPN / ESPN HD
Ah, City. A perpetual soap opera par excellence. Roberto Mancini, bescarved, greying at the temples, juggles the egos of his stars like a psychological conjurer. For all that, City are top of Group A, plotting their onward journey while the Old Lady lags behind, hoping to win in Turin while Lech Poznan slip up in Salzburg. Such events are protracted with the odds of success stacked against Luigi Delneri's striped charges.

20:05 Anderlecht v Hajduk Split, UEFA Europa League, ESPN / ESPN HD
Here come the Belgians! And there they'll go if they can't beat their foes for the night. Even then the footballing gods will slam the door in their face if AEK Athens gain a point at least against Zenit...

20:05 AEK Athens v Zenit St Petersburg, UEFA Europa League, ITV4 / ITV4 HD
...and to underline the point, a draw here will see both teams through from Group G. Until next time, it's a fond farewell...

Chris O