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Friday List of Little or No Consequence #228

What a load of Hurlocks...

10 Football Players' Names Used As Words To Describe Football Situations In Daniel Maier's Book 'Footypedia'

1. agnew
(v.) To surreptitiously time a minute's silence to see if it's accurate.

2. clough
(v.) To swear at the referee but disguise it with one's hand or by coughing.

3. dorigo
(n.) Supporter who always manages to procure a sombrero on a trip to see his team abroad, even if the match was in Finland or Krygyzstan.

4. falco
(v.) to bounce up and down, Cossack-like, while in a crouching position. Generally practised by the front row of a team who have just assembled in formation for an on-pitch photograph in the immediate aftermath of winning a trophy. The falco will usually accompany the wearing of team scarves and novelty hats and the joyful but melodically suspect chanting of 'Championes, championes, olé, olé, olé.'

5. hurlock
(n.) indifference with which a ballboy attempts to invest his return of the ball to an away player.

6. keown
(v.) to slightly resent a steward checking you ticket and telling you where your seat is.

7. ostenstad
(n.) technically inaccurate verbal abuse.

8. redknapp
(n.) distinctive clothing worn so that one can pick oneself out in the crowd on television.

9. warnock
(n.) tackle of welcome executed on a new foreign livewire during his first training session.

10. ziegler
(n. 1990's) scary white globe camera that speeds along a rail behind the goal which you suspect may also contain a laser gun.

'Footypedia  - The Alternative Dictionary of Football' by Daniel Mayer is published by Century and is available via Amazon.co.uk and all good bookshops.

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