Bumfight!

Hobo World Cup leads to spate of illegal copycats

World Cup for Hobos

Tramp: Up for the Cup

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An international event aimed at raising awareness of homeless across the world has resulted in hobos being forced to play football for the sick entertainment of the rich.

Easy charlie

In London it has been reported that cocaine-fueled city traders have been offering sums of money in the region of £200 to get hobos to play matches against each other.

"Kevin", a hobo living in a cardboard box in South London, told how he had been approached. "I got woken late one night, some 'ooray 'enrys kicking me box", he slurred.

Loss of dignity

"'I say you there, trampo' says one of 'em. And he waves a bunch of 'Ayrtons' at me and a two-litre bottle of White Lightening. Before I could get me 'ead together I was putting on a kit and playing left wing against the Waterloo Bridgers", he explained for the price of a cup of tea.

"I've never felt so degraded - we lost 6-0."

Wrong message

Community activist, Les Dyke, was predictably outraged: "I'm outraged! I know these people, I've worked with them. I've served them soup and I know that playing football is no way to get people back into mainstream society. These people need help, they don't need page three birds and multi-million pound boot deals."

It is hoped however that common-sense will prevail: already the fledging underground hobo league looks destined to fail as all teams seem to play in tatty grey shirts that none of the other players can see, and no one seems brave enough to ask if anyone has any spare change kits.

Sp3ktor