Copa Cabana

The hottest spot south of Havana

Venezuela's big man up front

Yep, he'll be there too.

Aida Yespica: Must stay at least 100 yards away from

The Onion Bag is proud to unmask it's full and unrivalled coverage of this summer's international bonanza of Football the Copa America.

Viva Chavez

The three week tournament features all the South American teams plus Mexico and the USA. The Onion Bag's crack(pot) team of writers are on route to socialist utopian Venezuela for a fun festival of football and free oil.

"After the staggering success of the Onion Bag's 2006 World Cup Pull-Out we have decided to return this summer with a Copa America version." said The Onion Bag's editor Sp3ktor at the South Mimms service station. "All the usual features will be there except the Venue Guide and the Skivertron but nobody read those anyway so who cares."

Fascinating Aida

But the question on every cheap perverts lips has to be: Will the Babe Game return? "Last years Babe Game was a great success." continued Sp3ktor while handing his licence details to a traffic policeman on the M40. "It drew the Worlds attention to the Bag's unique brand of satire through the medium of naked chick flesh. We also sold a bundle of tee-shirts off the back of it. There would be no point in doing the pull-out without a new Babe Game. Everything else would be a colossal waste of time."

Speaking of which, The pull-out has kept up to date with the i-Pod generation by launching a companion Podcast. "It's not as good as the Guardian one" said Sp3ktor while waiting for an AA patrol five miles out side Holyhead. "But it beats the shit out of Fanbanta".

What have you done for me lately

So what are you waiting for? The tournament starts tomorrow. This is a chance for us to make some cash after giving you stacks of free content for the last four years. Get over there now, click on those Google ads and buy some of our over-priced tee-shirts. You've done it for your football club, now do it for us you cheap bastards. These weekend Bundesliga works outings aren't free you know.

Duffman