The Picture Of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

Reds striker's fountain of youth

The picture: ravaged by age

Solskjaer: fountain of youth

Look Mum I'm on the telly

The Onion Bag can exclusively reveal the secret of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's youthful looks. The Manchester United striker has a portrait of himself which is kept in his cellar. It is the image in the picture that ages while Solskjaer remains unchanged in appearance.

Old Gunnar Solskjaer

The 116 year old Solskjaer has recently returned to first team action for United after 15 years on the treatment table following injury.

The Bag's very own intrepid reporter Larry Gak happened upon the picture while rummaging around the Norwegian's house pretending to be a meter reader. The image was painted just after the First World War by a street artist when Solskjaer (a duellist of some repute in those days) was touring Berlin.

Extremes with impossible schemes

"The artist told me the picture had mystical powers." Solskjaer confided to our man. "To be honest I thought he was trying to bump up the price with a bit of flannel so I gave the cur a cuff round the head and took the picture without paying. Turned out he hooked up with some far right extremists. I don't remember his name."

Old before their time

It wasn't until years later that old man Ole realised that he didn't look a day older than the age he was when he first acquired the picture. "I had buried my mother, two sisters, a wife and my first daughter before realising that I felt pretty good for my age. Then I remembered the picture and went down to my cellar where I'd kept it all these years and was amazed by what I saw."

Wilde at heart

The picture carry's the scars and ravages, both physical and mental, of an old man who is notorious for his clean living, good nature and pleasant demeanour. It recently won a glamorous Grandad contest and plans to take part in the Great North Run next summer.

Duffman