Heads Will Roll

KKK demand firm action against Polish tabloids

Picture: Well executed

Official partner

9: Worth ten points in Scrabble

Red-faced UEFA officials have warned of stern action to be taken following the printing of a mocked up decapitation picture of German Manager Joachim Loew and team captain Michael Ballack. The picture, which appeared in a Polish tabloid, caused outrage especially amongst the British media who wished they'd thought of it first.

Boys in the Hoods

The picture, which further fuelled unpleasant feeling between German and Polish fans, could see the tabloid in question forced to pay extensive damages to official UEFA partner, the Ku Klux Klan.

"Our organisation has paid good money for the title of Official Hate Partner of the 2008 European Championships," the Klan's Grand Wizard of Media Relations & Marketing (Europe) told the Onion Bag. "Our brand was built on lynchings, we find the hi-jacking of this tournament by other forms of hate crime thoroughly reprehensible."

Getting the message across

A hastily reworked image of the pair blacked-up and being hanged from a tree has only partially appeased the outraged white supremacists.

UEFA officials had already been embarrassed by the placement of the Klan's pitchside advert for "Racism" had been sited next to Swiss telecommunication giant "No To" around all the grounds.

Foreigners are funny

The UK media have kept up the spirit of xenophobia with the BBC telling viewers the scrabble scores for each Polish player, with pundit Alan Shearer refusing to try and say their names but refer to them by number alone. Meanwhile The Sun has called for Sir Geoff Hurst's knighthood to be stripped after reported comments from the World Cup winner alluding to Germans being "a lot like us" and "enjoyable to watch". Of course, for Alan Green it's been business as usual.

Sp3ktor