20 Years Of Ferg

The Onion Bag talks to Sir Alex

Sir Alex arriving at Old Trafford this moring

Connery: Happier times

Loving it

As part of the ongoing festivities marking the 20th anniversary of Sir Alex Ferguson's tenure at Manchester United, the great man shares his recollections of a glorious career with our intrepid reporter Larry Gak

Gak: Looking back on your early years as Man United manager, there have been some difficult times. Is there any particular moment when you thought you could have lost your job?

Ferg: Aye. 22nd November 1989. Lefty Ponce came in second to last at the 3.15 at Sandown Park. Ah put the first team's monthly wages on it to win and blew the f**king lot. I shat myself constantly for two days. Fortunately the players were a bunch of worthless jesses at the time so I fined the team for losing the next match which got me out of jail... literally. I vowed never to do such a thing again.

Gak: And what about high moments: The European cup victory of 1999 for example?

Ferg: More like the Cesarewitch 1999. Right Wing Genius came in on the f**king nose. I'd bet half the first team's monthly wages on it and made myself a millionaire over night. Happy f**kin' days.

Gak: And thinking back to all the great players that you've known, who stands out as the best?

Ferg: Lee Trevino. Unquestionably the best golfer of his generation. I played with him once, in a pro-celebrity match against Arnold Palmer and Sean Connery in 1987. I remember Sean getting ready to take a short putt to half the hole and I dropped a bar of Nazi gold I found in the basement right in front of him. Put him right off his shot. We all wet our panties laughing... except Sean, the miserable git.

Gak: Finally, if you had your time again, is there anything you'd change?

Ferg: Aye, that shanked shot with the nine iron on the eighteenth at Royal Lytham St Annes 1998. Cost me the hole and the match against Connery. "Whosh laughing now Faergie?" he said. Ah'd like tae wipe that smile of his ugly, self satisfied, sun-tanned face, the vindictive bastard. Ah bet him fifty grand he could'nae come up here and get something and Ah'll tell ye what: Ah would love it if Ah beat him. LOVE IT!

Duffman