Rick And I

Ernesto gives us the skinny on Rick Parry's resignation

Ernesto: Reading between the lines

Rick: Call me

Rafa: Happy hour's over man

'Rick Baby' I told him 'You should've called me. No one can bang out a golden handshake like Ernie G? Why didn't you ring?' But it was no use moaning at him. He couldn't hear, what with me sat in my luxury pad and him on Sky Sports News.

Red or white?

Rick and I are great pals. We were at Basingstoke Business School together for six weeks before I dropped out to follow my dream to become a top PR man for Hufflebrough Rovers Under 14s. When I bumped into him a few weeks back at a party he was surprised to see how well I'd done. He asked me for some advice on all things Liverpool. Well, what he actually asked for was my advice as to which canapé had seafood in but I read between the lines.

Spa wars

While I was talking he took a call from Rafa, a man I'd cross swords with myself back in the day. I was working in Spain as a top sales exec for one of the more exclusive training and leisure spas in La Manga. I negotiated a contract with him and he was the toughest cookie I'd ever encountered. I had to cave in the end and didn't charge him for the extra Cinzano, even though Happy Hour had clearly been over for nearly five minutes!

After he'd terminated the call, Rick scowled at his iPhone in frustration. 'Trouble at mill?' I asked while getting out my Nokia 6310 to check for messages. He shot me that all too familiar are you still here? look which I've come to know and love over the years that I've known him. 'Oh er... yes.' He replied 'We just need to iron a few things out that's all.'

Top up

'Stay the course big man' I told him as he merged into the crowd. 'No one man is bigger than the club's Chief Executive. Call me if you need anything!'

Which reminds me, I must get some more credit on my phone.

Ernesto