St Claims' Park

Unemployed to be forced to take Newcastle job

Cameron: Tough on the causes of scrounging

Living off public money

Allardyce: Too proud to take the the BBC\'s handouts

David Cameron has unveiled a controversial plan to get the long-term unemployed off benefits and back into work - by forcing them to take Premier League management vacancies.

On yer bike

The conservative leader, told his supporters (the majority of which draw a pension) that he would take a tough stance on those living on state handouts. "Why should we continue to pay these people, when there's a job available that will more than likely be filled by some migrant worker."

He was referring to the role of Newcastle manager, which became available this week after the previous holder Sam Allardyce was sacked for being too English.

Gravy train

Alan, 37, has been receiving licence fee payers money for just sitting on a sofa since leaving his job over 18 months ago. But the lure of a three million pound a year job is still not motivating enough to get him back to work: "Well I'd love to take the job, but I earn enough off benefits."

Under the Tories' new plans, layabouts like Alan would be forced to take unpopular, thankless jobs such as this or risk having his benefits removed.

More reasons to shop at Morrisons

His friend, another Alan, has been living on state handouts for years: "I'd be mad to take a job," he told Onion Bag reporter Larry Gak. "Ok the money's not amazing, but I get time to do a bit on the side at the local supermarket," he confessed with a wink.

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