Big Sam, Little Sam

Chaos at Reebok as managers interchange

Big Sam

Hideous, transforming intermediate Sam

Little Sam

Scenes of chaos and confusion reigned at Bolton Wanderers' Reebok Stadium at the weekend as Sam Allardyce, manager of visitors Newcastle United, appeared to "change" into Bolton boss Sammy Lee.

The madness began some minutes into the match, which saw Allardyce visit his former club and win comfortably. Leaving his customary first-half position in the stands, Allardyce vanished into the rabbit-warren back corridors of the stadium.

Touching cloth

Minutes later, new Bolton boss, Sammy Lee emerged on the touchline to chastise his players. But Allardyce was nowhere to be seen...

When Lee subsequently vanished and Allardyce reappeared, onlookers became suspicious.

Turtle's head

"It was just like the shit kids' programme from the 70s, Big John, Little John," said Bolton fan Jimmy Grimble. "One minute it was Sammy Lee, the next Sam Allardyce."

The rotten show was about a man who found the fountain of youth in Florida, gulped a few mouthfuls, and then spent the rest of his life turning without warning into a 12-year-old version of himself. It was really funny.

Touching cloth

But officials from both clubs were quick to deny there were any "magical" goings-on. "The two Sams are not the same person. Mr Allardyce vacated his seat on account of a vindaloo the night before. Mr Lee was late appearing at the match because he's a bed-wetting scaredy cat who'll be sacked before Christmas."

Dogs eggs

We asked Herb Edelman, star of Big John, Little John, if it was possible to transform into another person but it turned out he'd snuffed it some years ago when we opened his coffin.

Castro