Bill Of Wright's

Fans rejoice as Ian Wright leaves the Beeb for channels no-one has

Hard-hitting analysis

Bright, not Wright

Wright - not Bright

Ian Wright last night promised to "put the fun back into football, fun and football both beginning as they do with the letter F". He was speaking at a press conference arranged by Setanta sports, where Wright will be the studio anchor for live coverage of England matches until at least 2012.

No laughing matter

The programme, which seems set to be named Wrighty's Football Funhouse (plus England's match against the Fuzzies), will focus less on starchy analysis of tactics and players, and more on gaffes, people tripping over and funny things said by people in the crowd. For every match, Wright will be joined by a top comedian in the studio to look over the fun-packed events at half and full-time. In the pre-match build-up, Ian will invite a panel of geneticists and sociologists to explain exactly why "the other lot" are "inferior to us", and exactly why it is we're about to witness "the lads" administer "a right frashin'".

No grey matter

Wright recently left the BBC's England match coverage, saying that he was "sick and tired" of being paid £50,000 every two months to demonstrate on national television just how little he bloody knows about the game he played professionally for 20 years. "I got fed up, sat there next to those people in suits who were going on about tactics and that. Football is meant to be fun, it's meant to excite people. What English fans really want to see on TV is deeply inarticulate people, so nervous about the match ahead they're audibly farting, but telling them that we'll beat this other lot, easy mate. Innit. Innit. Innit. Innit. INNIT. Innit?" All the journalists present were forced to concede that yes, it in it.

No matter

The head of BBC sport, Mark Thompson, reacted to Wright's criticism with good grace, wishing him well for the future and promising to steal the format if by some miracle it was any good. When asked if he thought that the BBC's punditry panel would suffer for the loss of someone who is actually related to one of the England regulars, Thompson seemed surprised. "I was not aware that Ian was related to any of the players before he left us. It will be a bit of a loss to lose that close connection to the dressing room. I just wish he would have said something about it. Even if it had been just once or twice every minute."

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